The Trouble with Texts

How to Avoid Text Miscommunication in Your Relationship

Texting has become the go-to method of communication for just about everyone, including couples. It’s quick, convenient, and can happen anytime, anywhere. But it’s not without its pitfalls. In fact, many of the couples we work with in our Premarital Counseling program mention that miscommunication through text is a frequent source of frustration.

Think about it: between autocorrect blunders, typos, confusing punctuation (or lack thereof), and the absence of non-verbal cues, texting is practically a breeding ground for misunderstandings. Unlike face-to-face conversations, where body language and tone help clarify intent, texting strips communication down to words alone. And as many couples have learned the hard way, words on a screen can be interpreted in ways the sender never intended.

Common Texting Traps to Watch Out For

To improve communication with your partner over text, it helps to be aware of some of the most common pitfalls:

1. Autocorrect and Typos:
   Ever meant to say something was “appealing” but autocorrect changed it to “appalling”? Yeah, that can get awkward fast. Always double-check before you hit send.

2. Dictation Mishaps:
   Voice-to-text can be helpful, but it’s not foolproof. Words like “love” and “loathe” can sound identical to your phone. Proofread before sending, especially for serious messages.

3. ALL CAPS:
   Writing in all caps ALWAYS comes across as shouting, even if you’re just excited. If you want to emphasize something, try an exclamation mark or bold words instead.

4. Punctuation Problems:
   The classic example: “Let’s eat, kids!” versus “Let’s eat kids.” Enough said.

5. Timing Issues (Part 1):
   Are you replying to the most recent text bubble or one from three messages ago? If the conversation moves quickly, double-check to make sure your response fits the context.

6. Timing Issues (Part 2):
   No reply after an hour doesn’t always mean your partner is upset or ignoring you. It could just mean their phone battery died, they’re busy, or they simply forgot to respond. Assume the best until you know otherwise.

How to Improve Your Text Communication

So, how do you avoid these common traps and make texting work better in your relationship? Try these tips:

1. Pick the Right Medium:
   If the conversation is important, call instead of texting, or wait until you’re face-to-face if it’s not urgent. Serious topics deserve the clarity that spoken words and non-verbal cues provide.

2. Use Emoticons Wisely:
   Since texts lack tone, emojis can help convey your mood. A simple 🙂 or ❤️ can make a big difference. But choose carefully—a certain brown emoji, for instance, is definitely not chocolate ice cream.

3. Consider Your Audience:
   Not everyone knows text jargon or abbreviations. If your partner isn’t familiar with “rn” (right now) or “idk” (I don’t know), you could end up creating confusion instead of clarity.

4. Keep It Short:
   Long texts are more likely to be misread or skimmed. Stick to concise messages to keep communication clear and avoid gaps in understanding.

5. Pause Before You React:
   If you receive a message that seems unusually harsh or out of character, don’t respond with a rage text. Instead, assume there’s been a miscommunication and read the message again carefully. We all misread texts sometimes, so give your partner the benefit of the doubt, or at least more time to send a correction.

How Are Your Texting Skills?

Texting can be a fantastic tool for staying connected, but only when used thoughtfully. By being mindful of potential pitfalls and adopting these strategies, you can avoid unnecessary arguments and ensure your texts bring you closer together instead of driving you apart.

So, how effective are your text communications? If you think there’s room for improvement, take a moment to review your habits—and maybe share this post with your partner for a better texting experience!