3 Phrases: The Secret to a Happy Marriage

When we work with engaged couples preparing for marriage in our Premarital Counseling program, one question always comes up: “What’s the secret to a happy, lifelong marriage?”

Of course, the usual answers apply—things like communication, conflict resolution, compromise, and shared values. Those are all incredibly important. But if we had to boil it down to something even simpler, we’d say it’s understanding the power of words and using the most powerful ones abundantly and consistently.

So, what are the most powerful words in a relationship? Believe it or not, they’re just three simple phrases:

1. “I love you”

Yes, it sounds obvious. But the key is how you say it. Saying “I love you” every day is important, but it shouldn’t become a mindless routine. Say it with sincerity. Look your partner in the eyes when you say it, and let them feel the emotion behind the words. Those three words are a daily reminder of your connection and commitment, no matter what life throws at you.

2. “Thank you”

Gratitude is a game-changer in any relationship. A heartfelt “thank you” for even the smallest things—making the coffee, taking out the trash, or just being there when you need them—shows that you notice and appreciate your partner’s efforts. It prevents taking each other for granted and encourages both of you to continue showing up for each other in thoughtful ways.

Pro tip: Be specific. Instead of just saying “Thanks,” try “Thank you for folding the laundry today. It really made my evening easier.” A little extra detail makes your appreciation even more meaningful.

3. “I’m sorry”

We wrote an entire post about the art of apologizing (“Apologies 101”), but here’s the gist: a genuine “I’m sorry” is about more than just diffusing conflict. It’s an act of empathy. It shows your partner that you understand their feelings, acknowledge your own imperfections, and value the relationship enough to admit when you’re wrong.

Remember, a great apology isn’t just about the words—it’s about tone, timing, and sincerity. Saying “I’m sorry” opens the door to healing and strengthens your bond over time.

The Key to a Thriving Marriage

The most successful couples we’ve worked with aren’t perfect. They argue, they face challenges, and they don’t always agree. But they consistently use these three phrases—“I love you,” “Thank you,” and “I’m sorry”—to reinforce their connection and build trust over the years.

It’s not about grand gestures or complicated strategies. It’s about showing love, gratitude, and humility in the everyday moments that make up a life together. When these words are spoken often and with intention, they become the foundation of a happy, lasting marriage.

So, as you prepare for this next chapter, remember: the secret to a great marriage starts with three simple phrases. Say them often, and say them with meaning. Your relationship will thank you. 💕