The Insanity Loop
Stuck in a Rut? How to Break the "Insanity Loop"
Do you ever feel like you’re living the same day on repeat? You and your partner go through the motions—same routines, same habits—while wondering why nothing in your life or relationship seems to change?
That’s what we call the "Insanity Loop," and it’s something we see a lot in our Premarital Counseling program. It’s like being stuck in a comfort zone that’s not so comfortable after all. Even if parts of your life or relationship feel unsatisfying, the familiarity keeps you resistant to change.
But here’s the thing: nothing changes until you do. If you want something different, you’ve got to break the loop. So, how do you start?
Step 1: Win the Morning
Are you a “snoozer”? Do you hit that snooze button every morning, only to drag yourself out of bed later? Breaking this habit is an easy way to score your first victory of the day.
When your alarm goes off, get up immediately. No excuses. If you find it hard to resist the snooze button, try putting your alarm on the other side of the room. This forces you to physically get out of bed to turn it off, making it much harder to fall back into the snooze trap.
By taking this small step, you’re already starting your day by overcoming resistance. It’s a simple but effective change that sets the tone for bigger wins throughout the day.
Step 2: Set Meaningful Goals
If you want to break the loop, you need to know where you’re headed. What do you want for yourself or your relationship? Get specific. Write down clear, meaningful goals that align with the outcomes you want to achieve.
Pro tip: Use a whiteboard or sticky notes where you’ll see them daily. It’s a constant reminder to stay focused. And don’t forget accountability! Whether it’s your partner, a coach, or a friend, find someone to help keep you on track.
Step 3: Change Your Perspective
Here’s a tough truth: you can’t change other people. Not your partner, not your coworkers, not your in-laws. The only thing you have control over is you—your perspective and how you show up in the world.
Instead of focusing on what others are doing wrong, ask yourself:
What can I do differently?
How can I react in a way that aligns with my goals?
What mindset shift would help me approach this situation better?
Shifting your perspective can break patterns you didn’t even realize you were stuck in.
Step 4: Take Action
What’s one small thing you can do today to start breaking the loop? Maybe it’s trying a new routine, tackling a project you’ve been putting off, or simply having an honest conversation with your partner.
Remember, waiting for change to happen isn’t the answer. You have to be the change. Even small actions can create a ripple effect that leads to big shifts over time.
Are You Ready to Break the Loop?
Breaking out of the Insanity Loop isn’t about overhauling your entire life overnight. It’s about recognizing where resistance is holding you back and taking intentional steps to push through it.
So, what’s the first step you’ll take today? Whether it’s getting out of bed on the first alarm or setting a new goal, don’t wait for the change to find you. Go out and create it.
You’ve got this.