Relationship Nurturing Part 2 – “If you loved me, you would know!”

Raise your hand if you think being in a relationship gives you or your partner superpowers. Anyone?

In our Premarital Counseling program we help couples understand that, short of superpowers, mindreading will never happen in a relationship, regardless of how long you’ve been together. The bottom line is that assuming your partner knows what you’re thinking is the opposite of clearly sharing your thoughts through dialog.

We are all unique individuals, experiencing feelings and wants in a very unique way. Being unique means there are differences between the two of you that will often lead to different interpretations of the same information. Those differences might include:

• Personality – introvert vs. extrovert; emotional vs. logical

• Taste – casual vs. elegant; hot dogs vs. caviar

• Family of origin traditions – big family gatherings vs. a nice holiday text

• Life experiences – education, location, relocation, travel, friendships

• Gender – we all know they exist, so I’ll let you think of examples

• Risk tolerance – skydiving vs. flying first class

• Cultural background – a hug and a peck on the cheek vs. a handshake

• The day’s events – two hours in evening traffic vs. work-from-home

An important part of being in a relationship is sharing through open and honest dialog. Directly and plainly communicating your thoughts will not only help your partner know where you stand, but is also much more likely to sidestep misinterpretations rooted in your differences, and result in an outcome that more closely meets your expectations.

Done right, sharing is a relationship superpower!