The 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Engaged

Getting engaged is an incredibly exciting time filled with joy, anticipation, and dreams of a future together. But before you dive headfirst into wedding planning, it's important to take a step back and think about why you want to get married. As couples learn in our Premarital Counseling program, understanding your motivations and expectations can help ensure a lasting, fulfilling relationship. Here are five essential questions to guide your reflection.

1. Why Do I Want to Be Married?

Let's start with the basics: why do you want to get married? Are you looking for companionship, love, and a lifelong partner? Or are there other factors at play, like family pressure or societal expectations? It's important to make sure your desire to get married comes from a genuine place within yourself, rather than from external pressures.

2. Why Is Now the Right Time in My Life to Be Married?

Timing is everything. Why do you think now is the best time for you to get married? Are you emotionally, financially, and mentally ready for the responsibilities that come with marriage? How much might your biological clock be factoring into your decision-making? Take a moment to reflect on your personal growth and whether you're prepared to share your life with someone else. Being ready in all aspects can make a big difference in your marriage.

3. Why Is This the Right Person to Spend the Rest of My Life With?

Choosing a life partner is one of the most significant decisions you'll ever make. Think about what makes your partner the right person for you. Do they share your values, goals, and vision for the future? Are they supportive, loving, and committed to your growth? Understanding why this person is your chosen partner will reinforce your commitment and help you navigate the ups and downs of married life.

4. What Do I Expect to Get Out of This Relationship?

Expectations are a big part of any relationship. Reflecting on what you hope to gain from your marriage can help you clarify your desires and ensure they are realistic. Are you looking for emotional support, companionship, shared goals, or financial stability? Knowing your expectations can help you communicate them clearly to your partner, creating mutual understanding and reducing future disappointments. It's perfectly okay to want certain things from your marriage; after all, your happiness and fulfillment are important, and is a key part of marriage success.

5. What Should My Partner Expect to Get Out of This Relationship?

Just like you have expectations, so does your partner, and they are equally important. Think about what they might expect from you and the marriage. Are you ready to meet these expectations? Considering your partner’s needs and desires ensures that you’re ready to contribute positively to their life. This mutual understanding and commitment to meeting each other’s expectations are crucial for a balanced and fulfilling marriage.

Taking the time to think about why you want to take this next step in your relationship is a vital component in building a strong foundation for your future together. By honestly reflecting and discussing these five questions, you and your partner can enter marriage with a clearer understanding of each other’s motivations and expectations. This thoughtful preparation will strengthen your relationship, and help you to step into this next level with confidence.