Working with engaged couples as they prepare for marriage through our Premarital Counseling program, they often ask about the “secret” to a lifelong, happy marriage. Of course, there are all the usual answers like communication, conflict resolution skills, compromise, shared values, etc. Those are all extremely important.

But if we were to boil it down to something even more simple, it would be understanding the power that words have, and using the most powerful words abundantly and forever.

What are the most powerful words in a relationship? They are three short phrases:

1. “I love you” – This one might be a bit obvious, but saying it every day, and saying it with sincerity rather than a simple pleasantry, making eye contact while doing so, makes it powerful.

2. “Thank you” – This shows appreciation for the little things you and your partner do for each other. It encourages the two of you to continue doing those things, and lets you know that you are not taking each other for granted.

3. “I’m sorry” – In one of our previous posts (“Apologies 101”) we dive deep into the art of apologizing. Not only can it diffuse potential conflict, but ultimately it is about having empathy for our partner, validation of their feelings, and an acknowledgment of our own fallibility.

The most successful couples use these three powerful phrases throughout their marriage.