“I’ll be happy when…”

“I would be happy if…”

We’ve all been there. We’re waiting on something to happen in our lives before we’ll allow ourselves to feel happy:

“I’ll be happy when I have a job I enjoy.”

“I would be happy if I had a bigger house.”

Or we’re waiting for something to end or change:

“I would be happy if I lose weight.”

“I’ll be happy when the stress of the wedding is in the rearview mirror.”

When we allow our happiness to be contingent on some specific event, situation, or condition, we’re setting ourselves up for a cycle of disappointment. We are being passive participants in our lives, and allowing external factors to dictate our happiness. When we get into this cycle of conditional happiness, there is always another condition just around the corner that we will feel obligated to get past before letting happiness find us.

How do we break the cycle of conditional happiness?

It might sound cliché, but we have to learn to live in the present. This is the only way to ensure that we are not wasting this part of our lives waiting for happiness to begin. Sometimes happiness has to be intentional, meaning that we have to take the time to focus on those things in the present that we can be happy about and appreciate right now.

What does that look like?

“I’m happy because I’ve got a job and feel financially secure.”

“I’m happy because I live close to my friends.”

“I’m happy because I started exercising and feel healthier.”

“I’m happy because I found a wonderful partner with whom to share my life.”

Don’t let conditional happiness interfere with enjoying your life today.